Dear Santa,
I know you're so busy but I really need you to consider my wish. I have been a good girl last year and I know what I want for a gift this year. I am writing to you a whole month in advance so you can search thoroughly and I will give you all the clues to help you out of the chimney that you keep getting caught into one year after the other. I do not think that you are a myth and I do not think that is a myth, so my dear love Santa please read my letter and make my wish come true. I will not ask for a bigger wealth or for better health, I neither want earthly pleasure nor heavenly measures … I want a man.
I want you to dash through the snow on your sleigh, jingle you bells, and get your elves to run up and down the globe to get me my long-waited present, and when you get him skip the chimney part and just leave him on the my doorstep. I have always been accused of not knowing what I wanted and of not being decisive so I will go to the nitty-gritty details because I do not want you to send me the wrong man … Again! I hope you do not think of me as being bossy; I am just helping you with your hunt, and mine, for Mr. Right.
To help you with the screening process, I will first out what I know for sure that I don’t want. Married, lost, depressed, expired, or clumsy is out of the question. Narrow-minded, cold-hearted. Mind-numbing, or thick-skinned is not even an option. Bad English, bad breath, faithless, or moneyless makes less of a Christmas gift. I do not like quiet, boring, or dull men and I prefer them tall dark and handsome but fair cute and blond is not crossed out, and he has to like my curls!
Now that I helped you out with the outlines let's go to a more sophisticated level, and Santa, I have to give you a fair warning, this is the level that confuses you the most every year. Make sure this time he is intellectual yet sensitive; sensitive yet masculine; masculine yet tender; tender yet protective; protective but not possessive. Have I said enough? Oh and Santa, my heart had enough bumps, dumps, and jumps. I ran out of glue mending the broken pieces and I have no more tolerance for any more make-ups and break-ups.
Santa, I'm not dictating anything; I'm just helping you get me the right gift. People say that I'm too picky, demanding, and uncompromising but I am just a girl who wants to take exactly what she is willing to give; I just want to love and be loved- but I will never love a man unless he has a consensus from my mind, body and heart. Now that I went that far without any divine intervention to stop me from continuing my letter, I will assume that this is a clear sign that you will take my wish seriously this year.
Love,
Me
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